Ted and his Morning Wood

The following two tabs change content below.


Founder CEO at SMR Hosting LLC
Founder of SMR Hosting. avid privacy buff, volunteer at the Salvation Army, part time gamer and private IT consultant. I enjoy cooking and am an animal lover.

You might not see too many blogs from me. I like writing but I have never really been a blogger. For the most part you will hear from Aaron, or Patti.  I wanted to share a bit about myself and maybe give you some insight as to why I started a VPN service. I have been a privacy advocate for quite a while. Thinking back about some of my previous positions I remember wondering how the hospital I had been hired in at to migrate their patient billing and tracking system allowed a 17 year old kid access to so much sensitive patient information without any real checks into who I was.

Throughout the years I have amassed quite a lot of work history inside fortune  500 companies. Hell looking at Forbes 500 list for 2012 I held positions at 5 fortune 20 companies. IBM, Ford, Chase/JP Morgan, HP and Bank of America. My first real position in a data center was inside a very large bank during the 90’s tech boom. I was shocked at the amount of private customer data the mainframe engineers had access too. All you needed were a few mainframe commands a terminal and all sorts of user information would pour out on screen. I never really liked mainframes but I was young and the money was good. Plus the head hunters swore it would be good experience for the future (Ya Right!) So I got stuck upgrading the mainframe’s hardware inside “the bunker”. Ted one of my co-workers  in the bunker (think bank vault except with computers instead of cash) and I would hold Warcraft 1 tournaments during lunch the losers would buy the winners lunch the next day. We made a pretty comical bunch 7 old mainframe engineers in the twilight’s of their careers and me the 18 year old hacker who lived on Cheetos, Mountain Dew and by this time quite a few free lunches.

After work we would go to the bar across the street and drink from time to time. Ted always left first. He used to come in early every morning to use the banks state of the art redundant T1 data lines to surf the internet in the morning. I never gave that much thought until one Friday afternoon 5 security personal and two “suits” made a big scene by opening the bunker without giving us notice (something you don’t do in a bank) two of them and 1 of the “suits” pulled Ted aside while the others gathered up Teds things and left the bunker followed shortly after Ted and the others.  The rumors really started to fly at the bar that day the census was he was looking at sites that were NSFW (not suitable for work).

Ted came up a few more times in my life even though I have never physically saw or talked to him again.  Usually things like “I heard about this guy who worked there” or “Hey you weren’t working there when” The local head hunters knew all the dirt on the larger company contracts and would glibly tell their version of the story to whomever would listen and so the legend of “Ted and his morning wood” grew quite a bit by the time I heard the story told back to me 8 years later in an interview for IBM in 2005 it hardly sounded like the same story. It involved Ted stealing money from corporate accounts and funneling it into his private account while the bank higher up’s spied on him for 3 months to see if anyone else was involved before firing him. I don’t know what exactly happened that fateful day I still think the dumb bastard was just surfing porn not really realizing that the network overseers know everything. One thing I do know is poor Ted should have invested in an anonymous VPN service.


Dont be Ted Buy VPN Service from SMR Hosting


Leave a Reply

Copyright © 2013, All Rights Reserved.
Usage of this site constitutes acceptance of the AUP, Terms of Service, Privacy Policy and VPN AUP.